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the question of egalitarian services A Discussion Paper |
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Women and men today share equal rights and
obligations in
the majority of Progressive and Conservative synagogues worldwide. The
egalitarian ethos in these communities reflects developments in Judaism
that
date back to 19th century Europe and that parallel similar developments
in
Judaism in the larger society. Other congregations have begun to engage
in a
discussion about the role of women. I Issues about what
women are “allowed” to do in Jewish
services keep coming up. Most of these issues are quite easy to
resolve from a
halachic point of view: for instance, women are obliged to say the
Amidah at
least twice a day, they are encouraged to wear tefillin, etc. The
arguments
about “kol ishah”
that draw so much popular attention are not halachically
compelling and are indeed rather funny. Arguments that rely on
tradition or
history are also not convincing. For example, the separation of men and
women
became an issue only in the 19th century, as more women began attending
Jewish
services, and separate seating in liberal congregations was a custom
copied
from contemporary churches. The
question is an emotional one. Recently, a (male) acquaintance told me that
he feels
comfortable going to both egalitarian and non-egalitarian services, as
for him
this is not a "moral issue". I asked him why not, as I really wanted
to understand. His reply puzzled me even further: “It is a long
tradition, and
we honour a long tradition.” - I replied, “Slavery also had
a long tradition.”
- He said, “Even the Torah accepts the unequal status of
women.” - I then said,
“Even the Torah accepts slavery” – to which he
responded, “But slavery is a
more serious issue.” - No. The issue has the same seriousness. -- Unequal societies are the root of all
forms of domestic
violence (not to mention denial of respect or underestimating a
woman’s
capabilities, which can be survived). An unequal distribution of power
in the
relationship between men and women assigns women lower status. From
this
position of subordination, women become dependent upon men and are
subject to
their demands and in danger of abuse. -- An unequal society creates from early
childhood onwards a
certain self-image of women and of men, which becomes part of an
unconscious
pattern of feelings. -- Religion has a huge impact on our identity,
deeper than
what we learn in school or society in general. It defines how we think
about
ourselves. Therefore the question of egalitarianism in religion has a
huge
impact on how girls grow up, and how women and men think about
themselves. In the 21st century, egalitarianism is
therefore a moral
issue, not just a question of custom. And as a British parliamentarian
recently
said in the House of Commons discussing the issue of Freedom of Press:
“Either
one is pregnant or one is not; there is no in-between.” This is
no less true of
equality. Either a congregation is egalitarian, meaning everybody,
independent
of gender, has equal rights and equal obligations, depending on their
skills
and learning – or there is no equality. -- Thus also a system that incrementally
metes out to women specific
additional “privileges”, but that insists on holding women
subordinate to men
in relation to fundamental communal roles (such as leading services or
becoming
rabbis), is not equal, not egalitarian – and not just. "The participation of a women in
religious life and in
community life is essential. The full share has to be given to her of
religious
obligations as well as of religious rights." II It is often women
who have problems accepting a change
towards egalitarian services, and this is deeply understandable. -- Women who
grew up in unequal congregations have never
experienced the feeling of being an equal participant in the service -
for
instance, helping make up a minyan.
More important, they have never experienced
the specific kind of active relationship with the service and the Torah
reading
that comes from getting an aliyah,
chanting the Torah or leading a part of the
liturgy as sh'lichat tzibbur.
All this creates a very different relationship to the
texts and to Jewish identity than simply hearing the Torah reading and
praying
as part of the congregation and even these feel very different within
an egalitarian
setting where one is not confined to only this role. It is different in
a way
that it is impossible to know until one has experienced it. -- It can be
frightening to imagine oneself on the bimah,
and it can be frightening to feel that one has responsibility for
helping shape
the prayer experience of others. It's important to recognize that this
fear is
natural and okay and even very appropriate. -- Some Women
have to come to terms with the fact, that the
next generation gets something they were themselves deprived of their
whole
live. This is something extremely hard to come to terms with
emotionally; these
emotions will not pass. Eventually, awareness of this feeling can help
in
overcoming it. -- Finally,
freedom means responsibility. Women may feel
that if they have equal rights and obligations, they will need to learn
more,
do more, work harder -- and all this in areas where they may feel
insecure
about their skills and abilities without having ever experienced the
huge
positive impact of this on their Jewish identity yet. They may reason
that if they are allowed
to chant from the Torah, they will be expected
to chant from the Torah. Women today are the role models for the
girls of the next
generation. This is a heavy responsibility. How women approach it will
pave the
way for the future of Judaism. "God planted in our heart
skills and a vocation without
asking about gender. Therefore, it is the duty of men and women alike
to work
and create according to the skills given by God." The
question of egalitarian services
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